Cathy asked me to assist her newly minted instructors in the large level one classes that were going on quite a bit in the summer of 2009. She has always believed in me, even before I started being able to believe in myself. The passion I have for both teaching and Yoga Flirt came together and it was electric! Getting to watch the ladies transform into true Flirt Sisters was such an honor, such a humbling experience. So I moved from student to staff member/student and it was an easy transition.
However, the next challenge of my Yoga Flirt journey came quickly… inversions. I was full of self-doubt, but nothing could compete with how excited I was to try anyway. I did try, I did succeed and I felt pretty awesome about it. Thrill rides are a favorite of mine, and here I was creating my own little thrill ride using my own two hands.
Eventually we got to moves that required “side skin” which meant exposing a large area of midriff. First thought: Not enough that I had to get comfortable showing my legs, now I have to show you my soft white belly? Cathy would then demo the move and it would be beautiful, or neat, or challenging. Next thought: I hope I have my shirt hiked up far enough to stick to the pole.
It’s not that I’m completely free with my body now. I still nervously tug at my clothes to make sure my muffin top is covered or that my belly doesn’t show. But put me in the YF studio, and all that anxiety gets left at the door. You might be surprised what I’d be willing to take off when I’m inspired! My sisters don’t care about my rolls or cellulite, and I know because I don’t care about theirs. There are very few perfect women in the world, and we should celebrate diversity anyway, right?
The YF studio is a place where sensuality rules. There’s no men allowed, so there’s never a “sex” vibe in there. But, boy does it get sexy in there! I am not physically attracted to women, but there’s something so amazingly hot about a woman who’s expressing herself in a vulnerable way without an ounce of self-conciousness. One day I realized that I was probably seeing women in the way men do all the time! It gave me hope that the shape of my body was not as important to my husband as what I was willing to do with it. I experimented with that idea – acting as if my curves were amazing, and not hiding them under the covers. It turns out that the aformentioned hope was right on target, all it took was a little faith and a whole lot of courage. The six-inch heels didn’t hurt the situation either!
More, later. xo